ASL is not a code for English. It is the language of a community with its own history, norms, humor, and ways of being polite. Learning the signs without learning the culture is like learning Spanish vocabulary and then being surprised that people greet each other with a kiss on the cheek. This guide covers what every hearing beginner should know before their first signed conversation, and gives you the signs to talk about it.
Deaf with a capital D
Deaf touches an index finger to the ear and then the mouth. Hearing circles an index finger in front of the mouth, which comes from the idea of someone who talks. Hard Of Hearing bounces an H handshape to the side.
In writing, "Deaf" with a capital D refers to people who identify with Deaf culture and use ASL; "deaf" with a small d is the audiological fact of not hearing. Many Deaf people do not see deafness as a disability but as a language minority identity. You do not need to agree or disagree. You do need to know the distinction exists.
ASL and sign language
ASL is fingerspelled A-S-L. Sign Language is SIGN followed by LANGUAGE. Deaf Culture is DEAF followed by CULTURE, a C circling in front of the body.
ASL has its own grammar, which you can read about in ASL grammar vs English. It is also not universal: British Sign Language is a different language with a different alphabet. See ASL vs BSL and is sign language universal.
Getting attention
You cannot call a Deaf person's name. Instead: wave in their line of sight, tap their shoulder lightly, flick the lights in a room, or stomp on a wooden floor so they feel it. All of these are normal. None of them is rude. Grabbing someone's hands while they sign, however, is like putting a hand over someone's mouth.
Eye contact and attention
Eye contact is not optional. Looking away while someone is signing is the same as walking out of the room mid-sentence. If you need to look away, say so. If you are learning and get lost, keep looking and sign Sign Again or Sign Slow.
The best thing you can do in a Deaf space is sign I'm Learning ASL early. People are almost always generous with honest learners. I Sign A Little sets expectations, and Fluent is what you are working toward.
Name signs
A name sign is a personal sign that stands in for fingerspelling your name. Name Sign is NAME followed by SIGN. What's Your Name Sign? is how people will ask you.
Name signs are given by Deaf people, usually after they know you. Hearing learners should not invent their own. Until you have one, your fingerspelled name is your name, and that is completely normal.
Interpreters, captions, and technology
Interpreter is INTERPRET plus the PERSON ending. Caption shows text appearing across a screen. Hearing Aid hooks a bent finger behind the ear. Lipread circles a bent V in front of the mouth.
When an interpreter is present, speak to the Deaf person, not the interpreter. Look at them, address them, and let the interpreter do their work in the background. Lip reading is not a reliable way to communicate; even expert lip readers catch a fraction of English, so do not expect it.
Applause
Silent Applause raises both open hands and twists them in the air. It is how a room of signers claps, because it can be seen from anywhere. If you are ever at a Deaf event, this is what you do.
Practice
Sign the introduction you would give at a Deaf meetup: Hello, I'm Learning ASL, My Name Is and your name, Nice To Meet You. Then practice asking Sign Slow without a sheepish face. You are ready to go.
Then read Deaf culture etiquette on the blog for the longer list, and how to practice without a partner for what to do between conversations.